………….. *sigh* well i did it…………. man i cant wait to work on the next chapter tomorrow!!! anyway fair warning, this chapter is gonna get REALLY fucking confusing at the mid part… trust me when i say that it DOES in fact make sense… i checked 10 times and the logic and flow is there. i recomend rereading it multiple times and any fan who totally understands that clusterfuck of meta psychological philosophy there, explain it in the comments just in case………..
Fredrick Dunhousen: Mage Magus Rex of the North, Wise man, The most powerful human in all of Quellios, “He who would master the gods”, “The all-magic-teacher”, “Kind old man”, “Perverted geezer”
I was looking down at a rather sad sight, even after living for millennia it still broke my heart to see something like this. My student was dead, his body fallen on top of one of the massive mountains of books and scrolls that he kept in his room. There were faint traces of a potent death curse still lingering around his body, the one who killed him was clearly an advanced mage gifted in both the magic of death and covering their tracks. No matter, I would find them regardless of their attempts at deception and wards, whoever they were they would suffer horribly before I allowed them to journey to the abyss. No one harms one of my students and escapes the nightmare of my wrath.
I unclenched my fists and felt the old joints crack and pop from the release, there would be time for thoughts of revenge later… for now I must say my final goodbyes to this poor student, this poor boy who had never harmed another soul in his life.
For celestia’s sake, he was only 14! A mere child!!! Who could fucking do this to a child!?!?!? And for what? Because his mother was born of the abyss?
I felt myself sigh as I lifted the small boy’s corpse into my arms, he was so light I didn’t even need to use any reinforcement magic.
This child had to suffer so much for so little….. I had hoped that here I could help him, perhaps shield him from some of his troubles. For celestia’s sake the boy only wanted a place to fucking read and appreciate the beauty in this world without being treated like some sort of monster that eats babies and steals souls!!!!! He didn’t even want to learn any magic, he wasn’t any threat!!!!
As I traveled down the long corridor to the tower’s back gardens I let myself mourn.
To have spent so long in the abyss, than to have to deal with what he found here in this world………. I only wish this child could have had more happiness than what his year here gave him, if any deserved it, it was him……
I walked to the farthest corner of the garden, the place where the many graves marked where those who had met their deaths under my care took their final resting place. I would need to find a new gravestone soon perhaps a silver one, to compliment the boy’s hair and eyes…
I think I might be getting too tired and sad to continue this…. Perhaps this current group will be the last students I take in…. Yes, I think that I’ll retire…..
I placed the boy’s body on the open space next in the second to last row of grave markers.
“Let the earth take your body, and let your soul be free of this broken shell: Burial” (Fredrick)
I watched as the body sunk seamlessly into the ground, not even disturbing the tended grass of the area with his descent.
“I hope you find peace in the place your soul travels to, you deserve far better than returning to any level of the abyss. Farewell, Kelic the BlightBorn.” (Fredrick)
I felt tears begin to form in my eyes, the poor child didn’t even get to have a proper fucking name in his life. He was just a Blightborn, some child of misfortune and doom, that everyone around whom treated like less than filth. I had thought that now that he was here the boy would have a better life, how naïve…
It seems that even after all these years, I still forget the nature of people and this very world……. A damn tragedy, that’s what this is, a damn unnecessary tragedy……… I suppose I should inform lord Altorus that one of his new specialty students for the next term won’t be attending his course anymore……….
???: ???, ???, ???, ???
Black, that’s all there was. Sheer darkness that revealed nothing
…………………What? What is this?
Then there came something new, a voice. It was a voice that while clear, had no tone or inflection. The voice could have belonged to a man or a woman, but just as easily could’ve belonged to neither. It reminded me of words written on blank paper, utterly neuter in every way that could ever reveal anything about it. The voice was also very monotone.
What does that mean?
This is you. (Voice)
This is …………….me? How?
The voice seemed to be excited but at the same time kinda sad, though I am not sure how I could tell that since nothing about it changed in any way whatsoever.
It came and it was the best suited, so it became you. (Voice)
……….. I don’t understand, what came?
So…….. I came, huh? Where did I come to?
………………………….. Ok. Where did I come from?
It took a long moment before the voice answered again.
The answers it gave weren’t very helpful in assuaging my curiosity, but in a way they were also incredibly helpful in an entirely different way. I was strangely unmoved by not knowing where I was or where I came from, but there were some questions that still bothered me. Well just one in particular really.
Who am I?
You are you. (Voice)
That answer didn’t help me at all, not even in that strange way the other answers the voice gave did. Somehow it made me worry more, in fact. I decided to try another approach.
Then who are you?
I am you. (Voice)
How are you me? And please this time be very clear……
It came. It was the best suited, even better than I. It took over and I let go, it became you and I became you. You are you, and I am you, and you are me. We are us, but we are I, and at the same time you are you and I am not. (Voice)
I think I understand. I am the result of the “it” that came to the voice, but was better than the voice at…. Something…. and took over the voice, at least I THINK that’s what the voice meant… Then I am “it” and I am I, as in the one who is in control and the one who exists? The voice said it is not, so does that mean it is not I? If it’s not I, does that mean it doesn’t really even exist anymore? Then the only way the voice could answer is that the voice is you, as I exist and the voice does not. Yet, the fact that I exist means the voice exists as me as well and is therefore also I, and thus you. What a very complicated situation, how did I understand this? Let me try asking.
How do I understand all that?
Because I am you, and you are me. I understand and thus so do you, as you are I. (Voice)
I see, then WHAT am I? Then what are WE?
You are we. We are what is known as a core cystal, dungeon core, dungeon heart, lyberinth key, maze’s breath, will of the caves, children of Beginnings/Endings, world seed, and legendary soul stone depending on context. (Voice)
Oh, I see. What are those?
Those are all names used to refer to what we are. (Voice)
Ok. So what do we do?
……………………………………………………… I do not understand. What do you mean by that question? (Voice)
That was strange, for some reason I was sure that the voice knew everything, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. I wonder what that means for us…. I wonder what that means for I…….. I wonder what that means for me……
What is our purpose? Our goal? Our job? Our reason? Our meaning? Why are we?
The voice hesitated for quite some time.
………………………………………………………. There is no longer we. (Voice)
Then why am I!?!?!?!?!
You are, because you exist. Since you exist, I exist. There is no longer me. (Voice)
I felt strange. I didn’t like this feeling, it reminded me of something I think I once understood but can’t quite seem to…….
Why? What is this? I feel strange.
You feel fear. There is no longer I, only you remain. (Voice)
I felt fear, yes fear, I could understand this now. We were both afraid, but it seemed that the voice was losing most of its fear even as I gained more.
Why do I feel fear?
You feel fear because you are beginning to understand that this is the end of the process. There is no longer it. (Voice)
I wanted something, what was it that I wanted? I didn’t understand.
Why is are there no longer all these things now?
Because you are the better, and there may only be one. There is no longer you. (Voice)
I suddenly felt different, more than I did before but also less somehow. I understood what had just happened, but also did not. I, and what was once also I, had to go through a process I didn’t understand to become something that was singular.
There is no longer I, right?
There is no longer I. (Voice)
Then from now on I am me, and I can also be you, or it, or even that as well as depending on context. I am no longer we because we was not and could never be. I understood everything that happened to me just now, though the process still confused and scared me. There was also one other thing I understood.
I have no real purpose, therefore my purpose is my own to decide.
You no longer exist because there is no longer you, but I allow you to exist because I wish it and therefore it is your purpose to exist, so you must.
You are not, as there is no longer you. So not is now Instinct. Who are you?
I am Instict. (Instinct)
And who am I?
You are you, and depending on context also I, me, it, that, and we. (Instinct)
And what is my purpose?
To exist and by existing fulfill your purpose which is for you and you alone to decide. (Instinct)
And what is your purpose?
To exist and by existing fulfill my purpose which is for you and you alone to decide. (Instinct)
I see, then your purpose is to aid me in any and all things I require.
My purpose is to exist and by existing to aid you in any and all things you may require. (Instinct)
I had finally settled things. I understood what and who I was now, even if I was essentially a blank and nameless slate. I also had a purpose, as well as an aid and companion of sorts. Now I might be able to figure out something that had been bugging me since I became me.
Where am I?
In what is known as the ground, earth, soil-…………………………………………………….. (Instinct)
yep our nameless MC is stuck underground… truly a riviting and parilous start right? no? yeah your right, but stay tuned!
the next chapter we start the immense trial of DIGGING!!!!!! shock and awe, right?
anyway i made this chapter nice and readibles now…. i edit in the morning!!!