Philly (Philas) Isslat
As I looked out of our carriage at the approaching city walls, I thought back on who I am. I also thought back on the weak, pathetic thing that used to be called Philas that I had to erase so that I could ever truly live.
I can still recall the time before. Master doesn’t know, not even the Descendant was able to find it. The place I made to lock away all the old memories. The place that I’m trying to destroy even now.
The old Philas was weak.
The old Philas was afraid.
The old Philas was a disgrace.
I HATE the old Philas. I hate that I used to BE her, that I had to put in ACTUAL EFFORT to kill her forever.
Even at her best the old Philas was underwhelming, she would cower and submit to anything and everything she felt was her better. She thought of so much as her better.
The old Philas didn’t understand herself or her value, she never truly could.
Her family cast her aside for rebelling against the queen’s views. She was unable to learn how to shift, perhaps the only real value that she was capable of finding in herself. She learned how to fight on the streets, she was never very good, but she was enough to make her too much effort for predators of all types to bother to deal with her.
She eventually found work as a guard in a mercenary company. They shared many of her views on politics, morals, and life in general. She made friends, many, many friends.
One day her new life changed again. It changed for the worse.
The Kampu tribe of Vampeerus are wild, strong, and uncivilized. They appear as large flightless bat-gorilla monsters. They also had a tribe on the capital’s outskirts that were the company’s target for destruction and culling, direct commission from the queen herself. The pay was good, and even if the company didn’t like everything the queen did, they wouldn’t turn down the job.
The old Philas had to watch as half of her new friends, the people who took her in and accepted her, died. They were cast into a battle as bait, no a sacrifice for a superior force. The queen could have sent soldiers, a trained force capable of dealing with the Kampu, she chose not to. She probably felt the use of a rather rebellious mercenary group would be more advantageous. Wither they succeeded or failed it would still be to her benefit.
The company’s leaders knew that, they were also confident that they could come out victorious. They were torn apart violently limb by limb in front of the old philas’ eyes.
A woman saved her, pushed her out of the way as one reached for her, but the old Philas had never even known the woman’s name. That woman was torn apart in front of the old Philas, her blood staining the old Philas’ face and hair. That was how the old Philas discovered the first step to performing a shift. The old Philas’ hair turned the red of the woman’s blood instead of its original black, and stayed that color. She never was able to change it back for some reason.
The company was saved by a faction that opposed the queen. The faction drove back the Kampu, and gathered those that could still live through their injuries. They took the ravaged company to their underground base, treated the wounded, and buried those that died in transit.
The old Philas cried constantly after that.
She cut her hair short so she couldn’t see it, the sight reminded her of the woman.
She sought comfort in any form she could find. She turned to drugs, sex, music, even work as she joined the remnants of her friends in serving the faction as guards.
The old Philas even seemed to recover slightly, after three years she was almost content again.
That was when the old Philas’ life took the best and worst turn it could have. That was when the old Philas first met master.
At first the old Philas felt that the master was simply a harmless, if adorable, child. After being admonished by the legendary Yanta, she simply did her best to not fail her duty as her previous friend must have. The old Philas feared what the repercussions of this failure might be, so much so that she was able to ignore the traitorous thoughts saying that she should let the cute child free.
The old Philas had even managed to merely watch the child, not release him, or join him in the cell like she wanted. She felt proud, that is until she was scolded for being unfocused by the two legends of the faction, the ones that headed the group that saved her and her now unit of 36. Given her new orders the old Philas waited at the entrance of the stairway down to the cell. She would not let her unit fail in their eyes again.
The old Philas was shocked to see both Yanta and Tillyasa walk past her, they did not even acknowledge her in any way.
She was more shocked to find the master appear before her when she turned around.
When she smelled the scent of master’s blood the old Philas whimpered like the weak bitch she was and gave in to her desire to drink of master.
I still remember the bliss of the knowledge that the master was allowing me to taste his blood, all the submission and pleasure it brought with it. It is a shame that the memory is tainted by HER thoughts……
The master stopped the old Philas from drinking more after some time, he asked her what she tasted like. The old Philas didn’t know how to answer that question, she was an idiot. A fool. An incompetent that was unable to even INFER what master might mean by his question, even AFTER she had drunk of him.
Luckily for the old Philas the master was able to find some worth in her, what that was I may never know, but he saw it.
He told the old Philas her blood tasted of cherry, the master seemed to enjoy cherries.
It was when he gave ME a name. A name that was MINE and not the old Philas’. He called me Philly, even if neither of us would know it for years to come.
He used the old Philas as a blood-slave, then as a guide through the base, and lastly as an experiment to test his newest powers. It was the most productive thing the old Philas had ever done to contribute to anything besides her own petty desires.
Whenever the old Philas wasn’t consuming blood she was in constant agony. Being near the master helped, as did drinking blood from her own lip, even feeding without permission helped to lessen the pain, but true relief only came when the master allowed the old Philas to feed from another.
When the old Philas did so the first time, it was on her still living friend. The one who first guarded the master, and was rude to him. The old Philas cried as she drank, held the woman close and hugged her, apologized constantly, begged for forgiveness, and when the woman was dry and finally died the old Philas just cried quietly as she looked into her friends once lively eyes and felt the pain return.
The old Philas even started to enjoy the act of drinking from her friends, it was like her own perverse form of final reconcile with them, to her. That perhaps drinking from them would keep a part of them alive in her. Lies that a weak bitch told herself to hide the truth, that she was beginning to enjoy this even without the need to relieve a constant pain.
The moment she realized it was only when master pointed it out to her.
It drive the weak bitch insane. It was pathetic, as if with just that she was a broken and useless doll. It was no wonder that the master soon abandoned the bitch to die.
He only gave her one task, and she didn’t even do that properly. She left behind plenty of evidence as to what had happened there, but did not bother to do anything more because all master asked of her was to “burn everything”. The weak bitch was too distracted at the prospect of drinking from the bodies master left behind to bother reading between the lines of master’s order.
Luckily the masters mother came to set things right, she cleansed the place of any form of evidence that would point to master, and dealt with the living remnants of the faction with the only suitable response to impeding the master and his will, intense, painful, soul-rending, torture.
The weak willed bitch’s mind caved in completely midway through when the second survivor was flayed alive with her own hair infused with master’s mother’s darkness. The old Philas sank back into the haze of animalistic instinct to escape what she saw, heard, smelled, tasted, and did in the hours that followed. The old Philas never left that haze.
Even when she met the master again, she only saw him as “safe”. Even when he hurt her, tortured her for being an annoyance, she would just see him as the “safe” thing in a world full of “dangerous”. It eventually drove master to leave her in the “Void room”.
The room I where was born.
The room where I was able to beat back the remnants of the old Philas and assert my own will into my body.
The old Philas was annoying, she was ALWAYS there in the background of my mind. She would cry, she would beg, she would reason, she would threaten, and eventually she even tried to take back my body. She wasn’t able to obviously, I WAS her, though I absolutely loathe that fact, just a BETTER her. There was nothing FOR her to take back, the body was and is MINE.
I am nothing less than the best aspects of her and the other little things that mixed in with me as I was born in the room. The old Philas was nothing more than a scared and rabid creature who had been stripped of whatever it was that had made her a person, she didn’t even have memory any more, the room gave those to me. Of course I wasn’t able to totally destroy her the first time I was in the room, I was much too excited at my birth and was curious of what I was capable of.
The room gave me time to expand my mind, think deeply on who and what I was now, because I wasn’t Philas anymore, I didn’t WANT to be Philas anymore. Philas and her memories only served as a model of what I would never let myself become, a weak, pathetic, useless beta. I would be an Alpha, a leader, a predator. I would bow to no one and nothing save one, and he is the ONLY exception to this new fact of my existence.
I felt that it was my Isslat blood that was reasserting itself that altered my perception of societal norms. I know from the bitch’s memories that people didn’t refer to themselves or others the way I did, at least no one that the bitch knew of. I didn’t really care, the way I now viewed status and rank seemed right. Not over complicated by all those unnecessary rules. There were leaders, predators, ALPHAS and then there were the followers, the prey, betas, those that exist only to amuse and feed their betters. It was simple, and it was true. I LIKED how animalistic the old Philas would see it as, how PRIMAL.
Whenever my thoughts turned to such things I could feel what was left of the old Philas’ fear as the bitch tried to remain small and unnoticed. She always was the worst type of beta, one that served no purpose and had no value other than as a toy.
Since I could not get rid of her, I learned to treat her like one. A simple toy for my mind whenever I became bored.
Master eventually came to release me, I don’t blame him for forgetting about the old Philas, she was unworthy of his attention. The only downside of our first meeting was that I was unable to speak. I decided that growling wouldn’t be the best way to greet my only alpha so I chose silence instead.
He took me to the library and taught me the Vampeerus language and the common tongue. I learned to use words again, the written versions and spoken versions alike.
When I first spoke I thanked my alpha, only to have him tell me to not call him that. I’m not sure why it matters to him what title he wears…. alpha, master, lord, king, prince, sir, majesty……. all are the same, they all show that one is higher than others are in any group, any pack. But since master said so, I call him master instead.
He left me in the library to read and learn, so I did. I read everything, and learned all I thought I might need including 17 different languages, multiple cultural traditions and norms, and countless facts of biology and ecology. My bloodline, Isslat, has the ability to temporarily shift to the form of the animal, and take on the traits we are most familiar with. I saw no reason to limit myself and so familiarized myself with as many as I could. After a few rudimentary tests of the ability, I was confident that I could take on any of the common mammalian forms of canine, feline, and rodent at will. Now I only needed to increase my time limit, and I would be a far more deadly predator.
Master brought me back to the Void room, but this time another woman was there. She was like me, but not, I could feel something connecting us, but it was a small thing. It took time for me to realize she was a part of my pack, like master, but at a different rank. She was more on my level, or slightly below, in her ranking, but she was a member none the less. We didn’t talk in the room, we can’t, nor should we even if we could, but we still learned a lot about each other. Our bond grew stronger, but more than that I began to feel it. What the room had always hinted at happened, I learned to sense the master’s will, to understand a portion of his motives and desires. It was all I needed to finally dispose of the remains of the old Philas, and I was finally complete. I had been created as intended, and was ready to serve my purpose for my master, my creator.
I was taken out of the room with the other woman and taught to fight in a way that was never explained in the books I had read, but somehow seemed to make more sense to me. I soon began to become very adept at it, it would help me in fulfilling my purpose and further my goal.
my purpose was simple: I would become the perfect piece for master, and I would see that his desires were fulfilled in every way possible. Ultimately I desire something of my own, a goal of sorts really. I would wish for master to tell me how important and useful I was, how I was the reason his dreams could be realized. That is all I wished for, but that time is far off, I am still far too weak to realize it….
Master eventually had me fight one of his soul-bound alongside the other woman, Carmen. Carmen is a sister of sorts, though I may always be wary of her. I know the only reason I am able to tolerate the Void room is because of my more… primal mindset, but Carmen did so out of sheer determination. She scares me at times, but I always overcome such trivial fears unlike the old Philas. Carmen and I would never hurt each other unless it was masters will, and even then I am the better of us at combat, I have nothing to fear from her. Still, her determination makes me waver at times when I consider her ranking below me in my pack……….
Master put us back in the void room… he visits us this time though, I liked this time around better just for that.
Master isn’t ready to accept us yet, I know that, but I don’t know why he thinks we need to have our loyalty tested by a mind-manipulator. I allowed her into my mind without any resistance of course, though I did conceal some things from her. Nothing that pertained to my loyalty or devotion to master though, just my…. currant self-perceived weakness…. And the bitch’s memories, master seems happier thinking that I don’t have access to them.
After that both I and Carmen spent time with master fairly often, he trained us on how he would prefer us to act around others. Apparently giving him the proper show of affection, loyalty, devotion, and submission is “A really creepy thing to think about others seeing like this….. It’s like I taught you two to do that. Which I would have no problem with, but it sends a bad message to others, and totally clashes with my cute and innocent vibe….” So we are only to do so in private now.
Master also, with the help of his mother and the mind-manipulator, implanted a crystal into our heads surgically. It allows us to remain in contact with master at any time and allows master to track us with his own crystal implanted in his left hand. A useful tool, it makes my purpose and goal that much easier to fulfill. I was grateful for my master’s insight into this matter.
Then came the day when master gave me my first task. I needed no supplies nor any other distractions that would only weigh me down, so I left after master gave me this mission.
Shifting to a feline form, house cat, that wouldn’t attract attention I left the capital city of Varstix and began to travel to the kingdom of Malcreek. I would take anything I found I needed on the way.
I don’t think master truly understands what it is he has created. The Void room, supposedly it is based off somewhere he has been but never wishes to return to. Altering a person’s perception of time inside only their mind, while also trapping them inside their mind as well…. The whispered secrets it tells you….. That it remembers….. learns…. grows………………… that it is tied to master in a way that I don’t yet understand…… Where did master find a place ANYTHING like that? And how did he ever manage to leave?
“Philly dear, you really shouldn’t get lost in thought like that. As my fiancée and the future princess of the kingdom you must always display an aura of refined dignity and pose.” (???)
I looked at the prince who wrongfully thought he had the right to address me by THAT name, he was Titus Malcreek VIII.
At 21, he was of an attractive sort I suppose. He had high and sharp features, short straight black hair, and piercing blue eyes with equal tints cruelty and kindness. He was tall and had lithe muscles in the way only regular combat could forge. He wore an elaborate coat of purple and gold over the standard human officer uniform of crisp black long shirt and pants under a polished breastplate, grieves, and plated gloves.
Beside him sat his trusted second, Olson Hedrow, a lanky boy of 20 who had Titus’ height but none of his other features. He was of average looks with a round face, dirt brown shaggy hair and eyes, and a penchant for mild nervousness and exaggeration. If I hadn’t already seen him fight, or had the instincts of a natural predator, I would have written the boy off as the prince’s strange, laid back, friend instead of his second in command.
“I was only thinking of how I got to this point my love. It was a rather interesting meeting after all, what with you and Sir Olson rescuing me from that band of vile men before they could taint me…” (Philly)
Or I could slaughter them like the cowering prey they were, but it worked out in my favor that you’re a blind romantic Titus…….. It makes things sooooo much easier for me…. especially when you wish to wait for a wedding night that you foolishly set for years from now in an attempt at chivalry…….. And that you were just getting over the tragic loss of your first love. Well… all that just made it certain you would fall for the poor, helpless, innocent, noble who was sheltered her entire life. Though Olson’s suspicions did take the month to waylay…. But it was all worth it.
“I would never allow bandits and criminals like they were to EVER ley a hand on you for so long as I live. Isn’t that right Olson?” (Titus VIII)
Olson rolled his eyes and gave the same sigh I have heard from him for the past month.
“Yes my prince, now can we all focus on introducing this strange girl to your father. Oh and getting him to NOT disown you as his son for this little I’ve-known-you-for-a-week-but-we-are-totally-in-love-and-each-other’s-soul-mates betrothal idiocy of yours. That is important to… while you do I’ll just, you know, contemplate my long and successful career and how it’ll end in a few hours……..”
I gave the girlish giggle that has become the signature laugh of Philidona Yessina.
“It won’t be that bad Olson…”
But it can be much MUCH worse if my creator so wishes it……… be grateful that he does not at this time……..
I looked up at the ceiling of my new royal chambers.
The king was positively charmed with his son’s new betrothed, it was probably due to her having the last name of the family of the wealthiest fallen half-fae to ever live. The fact that the family was well known to send its many children to all corners of Quellios also probably aided to his decision quite a bit as well. Everything was going very well.
Though these dresses are NOT to my taste at all… far too restrictive………
Philly………. Tell me you hold a position of some power…………. (Alty)
I snapped to alertness immediately. All my reports were given to Yan and not master, he had not spoken with me since my task was assigned. That, and his voice sounded……….. strange. Like it was strained, or heavily controlled as he spoke.
I am the currant princess consort of the Malcreek kingdom, engaged to wed the crown prince in three years.
Good……. Very good. I need you to do something for me now with that authority Philly, and I need you to do it immediately. (Alt)
Of course master. Neither death nor damnation shall sway me……………………..