Chapter 5

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YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! ITS NOT THE FUCKING VOID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was surrounded by some indistinct dark space that continues on forever, i.e: NOT THE VOID. Now I’m sure most people would be scared by this. Probably frightened of the fact that they just died and unsure of the future, but not me. All I felt was regret that my one chance at an awesome fantasy life, even if most the people I knew there were either weird as all fuck or wanted to eat me and drink my blood, ended so soon.
That said…… WHAT A WAY TO GO!!! Hey are there any other dead people floating out here? HELLO?! GUYS I BET MY DEATH WAS BETTER THAN YOURS IN EVERY WAY!!!! WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT?!
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OH FOR SALLY’S SAKE! DON’T TELL ME I’M ALL ALONE AGAIN!!!
{What do you want this time you annoying mortal?}
SALLY?!?!                     YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! I get to reincarnate again!
{What are you rambling about this time you UTTER piece of shit?}
Nothing oh great, powerful, and beautiful goddess! Although this time I would muuuuuuuuuuuccccchhhhh rather be, like, a blacksmith’s son or something so I can work my way to political power instead of being born with it this time around. That seems like it could be much more fun, I could meet and seduce a princess… but then we couldn’t be together due to the vast differences of our stations… so then I would have to go on a quest and save some kingdom… then they would make me the hero-king, and I could go and do other hero-kingy things and get a harem… then i could have a touching reunion with the princess… then we would get married unite the two lands and make the strongest kingdom ever! COME ON SALLY MAKE IT HAPPEN! THIS IS A MAN’S ROMANCE!!!!!
{………….i can’t believe that I thought YOU of all people would actually do meditative prayer to commune with me.  There must be something wrong with me, maybe all your crazy-ass fucking stupidity is starting to infect me….}
TALK SENSE WOMAN!!!! What do you mean meditative prayer? Aren’t I died? Isn’t this the afterlife?
{No Dumbass, you’re not dead. Death takes souls to an empty part of the Void before a god comes to claim them. Seeing as you’re not there you must be alive.}
But everything faded out and I couldn’t feel anything anymore…
{you probably just lost consciousness dumbass… then cause you kept calling that name while nether truly conscious nor unconscious, I came thinking your dumbass was praying to ME!}
OH THANK SALLY!!! I’M NOT DEAD!!! MY ADVENTURES CONTINUE!!!
{Yeah whatever… thank Sall-…………………………….Did…?……………….Did you just use the name you refer to me as, as a replacement for a god?}
…………………………..No……………………….
{I AM NOT JOKING HERE MORTAL!!! YOU CAN’T DO THAT!!! IT COULD- WAIT… mortal tell me have you allways been doing that ever since I first contacted you?}
…………………………..nooooooooooo………………..
{ANSWER HONESTLY FOR OONCE IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING LIFE YOU MORTAL PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!! THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!!}
HEY!!! Leave mom outta this she never did anything to you……………. Although the way her stories have been ending lately I don’t think she would mind what you said about me and her……
{ASWR THE QUSTN U FUK!!!!}
Sally calm down I don’t understand you all that well when you use angry-texting-speak…
{MOOOOORRRRRTTTTTAAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!}
I’ll have you know I have a name and its Altorus. But just for you Sally, you can call me Alty since I know that’s all you really want.
{Teehee, thanks Alty I’ll do that from now on!}
……………………………………………………………………..WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{……………………………………………..YOU HAVE BEEN USING THAT NAME!!!! worse yet you BELIEVE in it!!!! Put actual FUCKING FAITH in it!!!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU DISRESPECTFUL, FILTHY, SCUM SUCKING SHIT BRAINED FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!}
{DON’T PICK ON ALTY!!!!!!!!!}(Sally #2?)
{SHUT UP YOU DAMN THING!!!!!! YOUR NOT EVEN REAL!!!!}
{I’m as real as you are Hellatia, and I’d ask that you respect that please.} (Sally #2)
{YOU’RE A FUCKING ABOMINATION CREATED FROM THE DELUSIONS OF AN INSANE MORTAL SOULS CONCEPT OF A  HIGHER BEING!!! YOU. ARE. NOT. A. REAL. GODDESS.} (Hellatia)
{Well apparently now I am… deal with it.} (Sally)
…………………………………………………..Uhhhhh…. can I ask a few questions? Please? I am super lost here…and it seems like i’m kinda being ignored……………….
{I wish I could help Alty, but you’ll be waking up soon so…} (Sally)
{YOU CAN ACTUALLY OBSERVE HIM!!!! HOW NOT EVEN THE OTHER GODS POWERS COMBINED WERE ABLE TO FIND HIM!!!!!}
{Not telling. It’s a secret!    ; p  } (Sally)
Uhhh…. Lots of questions here but I seem to be fading out again sooooo…….
{Just know I’m on your side my chosen…. Oh and make sure you don’t run into anyone from the sects of human faith just yet, you aren’t anywhere near ready to take them on as you are now. I’ll be watching over you so do your best! Btw you should stop using my name unless directly preying to me it wastes my power. <3  } (Sally)
{HE IS OUR CHOSEN AND HOW DARE YOU WARN HIM AWAY FROM OUR FAITH YOU BITC-……..} (Hellatia)

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Sally was the name of an ACTUAL GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY THE FUCK DID THAT OTHER ONE LET ME CALL HER THAT THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok Alt you gotta calm down… everything is cool, you just miiiiiiiight have made a goddess hate you more than enough to become your eternal nemesis, but at least the other one seems to like you… the one that Hellatia, Sally is a better name…., said I CREATED… and is apparently considered FAKE…
I might need to fix my Sally=God habit now…. I think SHE is gonna need all the power she can spare to deal with the angry goddess I left her with.
“Oh Altorus, you’re awake now! Mommy is just finishing up her little hobby now too… You know what, after all that excitement today with your celebration and YOUR FIRST WORD I think we could use a niiiiiiiiiiiice long bath. Doesn’t that sound good little Alt?” (mom)
Oh look a classic case of denial and avoidance, perfectly executed to distract me from the fact that you ALMOST KILLED ME WITH YOUR TIT-HUG-OF-DOOM!!!!!! Who does that? I mean really, I had to be in there for at least four minutes to be so oxygen deprived that i couldn’t  even stay conscious! I love you woman but you need to learn how to hug a baby without endangering its life.
“My queen, perhaps we should let the young prince rest a little while longer, he has just recovered from a strenuous ordeal.” (Fera)
“YES HE DID!!! You were there right Ferasia? You heard Altorus call me ‘Mama’ right?! Ahhhhh…… I just wish I had activated my crystal recorder so I could relive that moment whenever I wanted. My memory is just not enough…….” (mom)
“…….. Indeed my queen……… I shall take the prince to his room now so he may rest. I shall leave you to your………… business…………” (Fera)
Holy shit fera! I know mom is acting weird but you don’t have to look at her like she’s lower than dirt. She IS still the queen……
Fera picked me up and brought me through the long winding halls back to my room. For some reason I was dead tired, weird since I had just REGAINED consciousness, but I guess today was a long and rather stressful day for me. It was getting harder and harder for me to stay awake, and soon I just stopped trying.
At least now that I spoke for the first time I can start “learning” to talk. Plan: Prodigy Child is now a-go… look out world, once my baby fangs grow in, I swear I’m gonna get MY chance at a piece of this pie, and Alty here doesn’t like to  share……
I drifted off to sleep just as we turned a corner to see my room. It had been a long year…………
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